Jia yin.

Major in Finance. College Student. 20 years old.
A little space for this ordinary girl to write about thoughts.
Living in a beautiful yet sorrowful life.


"Eyes on the prize - Alissa Violet"

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Everybody hurts

Clearly see that I'm not a good girl or good friend. I have my dark side, my cold-blooded and numb side.
I don't want to hurt anybody if I could. I am despondent, really. Numb to everything.
When the feeling is gone,nothing I can do about it. Weary. Indebted. Suffocated.
I don't know what to say seriously. I'm on the verge of giving up, dying.
We meet new people once in awhile, I never want to leave any old friends. Never.
Sometimes, we cannot to control the situation and may get into a stalemate. I'm in it right now.
I have nothing to say except Hello, Hi, Hey. The Discomfiture.
From the beginning I tried, and then it had taken a turn to be better and in the end everything is gone.
I never want it to happen. Reality conquers us.
It's like no matter how hard we try to fix it, the scar is still there. Accept it.

The things that have gone is gone.

I cared so much and thought about the best solution when the incident happened last year, I tried.
Be a middle person is hard like hell.

I felt ridiculous as the things were even not started by me but in the end it's like all related to me.
Perhaps people never know about how desperate I felt.

It's like no one notices my effort holding on to everything until I stop doing so

I am exhausted. I choose to quit this mind-guessing game.
I'm a careless girl who won't notice the small changes at most time.
When people are sad, I won't know the reason by my sense until they told me the whole stuff.

Guessing is just too difficult for me.

Instead of saying the fragile words, I think being frank is better
We know where the problem is, just no one points it out.

Don't wanna lose the moon while you're counting stars.


Just because I was good  to someone doesn't mean I don't have limitation.
Sometimes I can be a bitch an asshole a dumbass a douche bag
and I will be tired too.

I bet every girl in high school have been through the same thing.


Don't make yourself suffer anymore. Let go. Not for anyone but yourself.

wecanstillbefriendeventhoughnotbestanymore
It will be the last time I write about this in 2014

I'm a teen and I'm learning and moving on






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