Hello Heartache

Avril still looks gorgeous in the mawkishness.

Lately I'm emotional and put myself easily into a bad mood. I don't know why.

EMO ISN'T MY STYLE I should be crazy as hell everyday

Listen to sad song everyday without any rhyme or reason

I don't know what I'm sad about.

It comes naturally when I read my old blog's posts.

I'm like huh? I was so kind in the past 

I was a girl who would keep on trying on something even people gave up on her.

But then I didn't live there anymore.

I turn into an ego girl who does anything in her on way, 

an impatient girl who gives up on thing easily, 

a nothing-to-care-about girl who only cares about someone really loves her, 

a wishing-for-the-best girl who wants to live happily and live for the best every day,

a sensitive girl who loathes people losing trust on her,

a silly girl who hates to be girl because it's complicated,

 a girl who loves peace among people without any dramas,

a girl who only talks certain real mood to certain one but not everyone.

a girl who doesn't care about how people think about her as long as she feels she is not sorry to them.

a girl who isn't good enough but she won't do something bad on anyone.

I've changed I think. When Why How

I don't even realise it 

Is it a good change? God knows

Used to mean something but now it means nothing

What I have to declare about is I never be that hell of scandal to her. 

So please stop judging by your own instinct or guessing

Somehow I appreciate for those who never give up on me.

Whenever I am so down, and here they are to cheer me up 

even though they don't know what's going on. Thanks for staying.

The one I talk everything to and now we are always together and lucky to be one of the member of Chloroboat. We know each other for years. They said we are not girls but boys. 

We don't know whether it is good or bad, we just laughed like insane.

The one who never ever angry with me but always gives me some positive advice when I'm mad about something.

We don't talk with each other frequently but only have a lil chat sometimes.

and then I'll always like being enlightened whenever having a chat with you. 

The one who always quarrels with me but always gives me full support in everything I do but then dares to scold me mercilessly when I'm wrong 

Honestly, the frequency that we quarrel over the foolish stuff can't be counted in 100 hands.

Fake me every day and talk shits to me but still a very very very righteous friend.

I'm scared. I'm afraid to become the reason that causes unhappiness to somebody.

I wish I could bring happiness to everyone around me but not the trouble, the negative thought.

I wish people smile because of me.

I just don't want to be the reason to be sad with.

I'm grateful to those who are still trusting me when people think I am shit enough.

Hope they will stay with me and be my best memory in jitsin school life.

So, Goodbye Heartache? Shouln't be emo again.

I'm breaking free from these memories Gotta let it go, Just Let It Go.

Everybody hurts

Clearly see that I'm not a good girl or good friend. I have my dark side, my cold-blooded and numb side.

I don't want to hurt anybody if I could. I am despondent, really. Numb to everything.

When the feeling is gone,nothing I can do about it. Weary. Indebted. Suffocated.

I don't know what to say seriously. I'm on the verge of giving up, dying.

We meet new people once in awhile, I never want to leave any old friends. Never.

Sometimes, we cannot to control the situation and may get into a stalemate. I'm in it right now.

I have nothing to say except Hello, Hi, Hey. The Discomfiture.

From the beginning I tried, and then it had taken a turn to be better and in the end everything is gone.
I never want it to happen. Reality conquers us.
It's like no matter how hard we try to fix it, the scar is still there. Accept it.

The things that have gone is gone.

I cared so much and thought about the best solution when the incident happened last year, I tried.
Be a middle person is hard like hell.

I felt ridiculous as the things were even not started by me but in the end it's like all related to me.
Perhaps people never know about how desperate I felt.

It's like no one notices my effort holding on to everything until I stop doing so

I am exhausted. I choose to quit this mind-guessing game.
I'm a careless girl who won't notice the small changes at most time.
When people are sad, I won't know the reason by my sense until they told me the whole stuff.

Guessing is just too difficult for me.

Instead of saying the fragile words, I think being frank is better
We know where the problem is, just no one points it out.

Don't wanna lose the moon while you're counting stars.


Just because I was good  to someone doesn't mean I don't have limitation.
Sometimes I can be a bitch an asshole a dumbass a douche bag
and I will be tired too.

I bet every girl in high school have been through the same thing.


Don't make yourself suffer anymore. Let go. Not for anyone but yourself.

wecanstillbefriendeventhoughnotbestanymore
It will be the last time I write about this in 2014

I'm a teen and I'm learning and moving on

School life

Back to my lovely room.I'm EXHAUSTED.

This is the second Friday in 2014. But the way, I love Friday. 

The only day I don't need to stay up whole night to complete my homework and just fall asleep unwittingly when I lay in my bed. 

That is too tiring, the only year in my school life that makes me so so so so so so so so fatigue.

I'm hypotalkative lately. Yes, I don't feel like talking in the school except for recess time. I'll  just laugh at something that is hilarious and talk a little with da boys at times.

No more talking non-stop like a crazy bitch as what I did last year.

Maybe I'm burned-out and run-down or the school life makes me speechless - -

ROUTINE DAMN IT I HATE ROUTINE

ROUTINE IS A BITCH THAT SCREW UP MY MOOD EVERY DAY

It's already Form 5 and I'm still caught hair by diciplined teacher.

Can't they bring me a peaceful life? = = They are the suckest teacher ever.

As I leave JitSin, the only group of people I won't have any gratitude are them.

Seriously, for the graduation short speech, I have no idea what to write. Really.

I just frowned and stared at that paper, so I ended up writing with a very stupid speech *teehee*

Hahaha I think the most most most enjoyable time is my recess ^^

I love eating and talking nonsense with my best friend QQ during recess,

moaning about some hell stuff, gossiping and then 

walking to bee's class start talking rubbish with bee, kingwei, and tyng roei and zhanzhao sometimes

Even though sometimes I'm shot by bee and this makes me feel a lil voiceless and angry HAHAHA

and then I have to think about explanation abt tat lil something

But it's okay I know she will be okay ^^ *I drive her crazy sometimes*

I don't know whether they like talking with me, I do enjoy chatting with them

Recess is the only time the only moment I do laugh out loud truly from my heart.

I feel comfortable with them even though we can't stick together every day

or talk every day but the feeling is still there. 

I can laugh like whatever and I can talk naturally and end up with "HAHAHAHAHA" until the bell rings

It's great that Chloroboat can be qq's crayon, they just can paint and light up her day.

*She is welcome anytime* 4S1 is her home, is our home.

At least we are only divided by a wall LOL

I have faith in them somehow like graduation will not stop us from contacting each other.

Be good to others when you need to be. 

At the same time don't forget to be a bitch when you need to be. #201314lessonlearnt

Best friends are the one who don't have to spend all the time together 

but still can have a comfortable silence with.

Seek joy amidst sorrow probably? hahaha

Byeeeeeee ._.

Goodbye 16

Even if the world ignores you
Even if it laughs at you when you fall down
Don’t break down, all your dreams come true

2013 年就酱子过去了 感觉去年过得好快
第一次有班级的outing 第一次跟班上同学放学后还有Group Chat
第一次参加Science Fair 还做了一堆香水 *khem*
第一次跟好朋友一起度假 最幸运就是有好同桌
还跟这些人在LINE跨越 1314 听起来有点noob 不过好过没有啦 LOL
好多的第一次 他们就是我2013 最美的回忆
真的过得太快了啦 虽然很想快点毕业
可是Form 4 这种最美好时期 竟然过得特别的快
感觉上form 4 就是一直在
上课回家睡觉考试然后重复再偶尔穿插一下活动又抱怨一下活动
然后人家又问我其实我去是干嘛 好啦我真的不知道我去是在干吗
为了不要被骂? LOL 管他的 因为还是被shoot = =
然后每天大胆了 天天带电话去学校
拍拍拍 OMG 坏学生坏学生啊
每天功课不要做 去学校借来抄
成绩出来不好了 又在努力一点点 *恶性循环*
今年不可以酱子了 要努力努力再努力
不过说起来今年的英文倒是进步了一点点 虽然作文的分数也是很shit
可是比以前进步了也 好开心 yay
这篇过后 接下来就一直用 英文来update 我的blog 吧 ^^
我真的很喜欢 英文啦 可是英文不喜欢我 我也没办法 *urghhhhhhhhhh*
每个星期五在烦恼 等待IT 的那段时间要怎样过
只怪自己朋友太少 要一个人的时间太多
不过到最后我总算也习惯了一个人静静在upper
像自闭症那样的生活
Hooray 今年没有IT DAEBAK
每次体育节又要心惊胆跳 进进出出纪律室都家常便饭了
明年最后一年就给他扣到爽好了 不要剪我头发就好

然后也发生很多不是很愉快的事情
跟朋友互相猜测 越来越不了解 啊啊啊啊 不管了 新的一年就好好过吧
这些事就随2013而去 旧的事就无所谓吧 HAHAHA
跟一个不同校的朋友 还能当好朋友也算难得了HAHA
没想到还是通过我最讨厌的东西认识的 真是无言
还有一个 tsk 一年骂我 bitch 几百次 还吵到很够力
我真的不知道我做么酱大量 跟你好回几百次 LOL
好吧家里的状况也不是很好 所以说没有钱就是很麻烦
以后肯定要用自己的能力 赚给自己很多钱 ROAR 一钱解千愁
*奋斗* DAMN IT 虽然说要知足
可是看到妈妈有时候在烦恼真的会很不知所措 啊不知道啦
本来假期要找工作 来打打工 哪里懂 Alma 这里要找 part time
也酱难 真是 sai lar = =
整个假期肥了 我的天啊 到底还有多少条裤不能穿了
屁股是有那么大吗 DAMNNNNNNNN
腿也粗了 要运动了 太痛苦了这种感觉
明明体重也没起 现在的脂肪都杀人于无形吗

我很喜欢 Addmath leh 我是有点神经了
总觉得数学很好的女生或者男生都很有型
虽然我的Addmath 分数也不是很好 可是就是很喜欢eh
有时候会很pekchek 可是做到又很有成就感
一直想拿最高分 不过不太可能啊 算了 -_________-
想到 Final 的成绩更让我pekchek
我还是很讨厌bio urgh 冇眼睇 的那种
我也不知道自己有什么用处叻 做header? 做blogskin? ishh
都是无聊的东西 - -
想说毕业后要读 关于 Technology 的东西 或者 金融的
可是 我真的很想读吗 还是 我只是一时好玩然后踏上不归路
还是只是虚荣心冲昏脑袋 觉得很有型就读
我不要啦 选了就不能后悔了
既然最后一年了 就看我今年的addmath 成绩怎样吧
选择困难症 还是我去面试TVB or SBS看能不能中我好了
整了容再去应该机会高一点

幸好假期有My 盛 lady 给我看
我的天啊笑死我了 每天看一集都还不过瘾
每一句教主讲的话都中肯到 经典啊啊啊啊啊啊
真系嘎 点解嘅 你好叻啊 傻的吗
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

既然是New Year
祝我今年过得很开心很开心在中学留下最好的回忆没有遗憾
毕业的时候 哭是不会料 不过至少要回想起来中学还是好的
祝我今年跟朋友们相处也顺顺利利不要再有什么问题了 也不要互相猜疑了
都要毕业了往事就成云烟吧 I'm moving on
也希望 我身边的朋友不要再吵架了
还有最重要的是 SPM 8A+ 啦至少 不过 最好能的话10A+
酱子的话 可能还能成为整个中学时期最大的成就 =,=
谁叫我中学一点成就都没有 都是那边浑浑噩噩过去
还有 我要成功学到 韩语或日语 在放假学会写 好开心 ^_____^
可是会写会念 可是不知道什么意思 haih -,-
希望我今年有恒心继续自己看tutorial 学吧
最最最重要的是 LICENSE 我来了
其实我还要很努力努力很努力地改掉懒惰病
不能对什么事都很冷漠 很懒惰了 要改掉改改改 CHANGE
PASSIONNNNNNNNNNNN!

ANYWAY HAPPY NEW YEAR!